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On the surface, the whole water to wine miracle doesn’t seem that weird. It’s just another way for Jesus to show off his superpowers, right? But this is Jesus’ very first miracle. Shouldn’t he have done a healing or something more… important? And on top of that, the end result of the miracle is that there’s more liquor to go around at a party? Aren’t you supposed to judge the party people?
Hide your beer! It’s Jesus!
Think of all the pictures and art you typically see of Jesus. Is he laughing? Telling a joke? Shooting spitballs at Peter? Nope. He usually looks tired, serious or crucified. I’ve got nothing against being serious and I think Jesus dying on the cross is the greatest act of love ever shown, but c’mon, was he always serious? When he walked into a room did people hide their beer, watch their language and hope they didn’t get judged? I don’t think so. In fact, in the gospels, it seems Jesus was at parties a lot—and not the kind of parties with silk napkins and 2 forks. And it wasn’t like he went there to give sermons and lectures on the evils of drinking, fornication and the gay agenda. Could it be that one of the reasons Jesus liked hanging out with people at parties was because it was fun? Could it be that he even told a few jokes?
I just flew down from heaven and boy are my arms tired!
I bet Jesus told jokes, but unfortunately the gospels don’t record that. Here’s where I need help with some wild speculation about the Bible. What jokes do you think Jesus might have told? Here’s a couple to get you started:
How many of me does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. You don’t need a lightbulb when you are the light of the world!
Why do people think I have a drug problem? Because they always hear about me almost getting stoned!
What did the deaf man yell as I walked down the road? “Hear, I AM!”
Sorry, that’s the best I’ve got. How ’bout you?
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LOL… oh dear Jim… those were really bad…
Those are good jokes, Jim. I got nothin’…
Good job :-)
My youth minister says that when Jesus called John and James ‘sons of thunder’ (mark 3:16-17), it’s probably because they farted heaps.
you just stole my thunder (boom tsh).
I was just about to write that.
So glad to finally have a fart joke on the site :)
I actually hadn’t heard that one. It’s awesome!
I’ve been studying classical civilization since I was six years old, and let me tell you, it’s pretty amazing how many fart jokes there are in ancient texts.
JESUS: You know, people always make a big deal out of all these miracles I do and that I’m the son of God and the messiah and all that… But truth be told, my first and foremost passion has always been /carpentry/! I’ve even started my own business: “Salvation and 2x4s”. Is your Passover meal being ruined by a wobbly table? Call Jesus, the best carpenter this side of existence!
Great Jokes. Love the print. Actually, love all your stuff. This particular one, however, would make a fantastic wallpaper!!!
Jesus said “I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance” (Mark 2:17), which is why He hung out even with those whom society reviled such as the tax collectors :)We