Word: Matthew (The Headless Baptist)

From B.C. to A.D

Thanks for tuning in to the second half of my program or what I like to call "Thank God I'm Done With Those Minor Prophets." 

Just a head's up—since the Gospels are a treasure trove of design inspiration, I may spend more than one week on each of them.

New (Testament) Violence

Think violence is only an Old Testament thing? John the Baptist, Jesus and a bunch of baby boys from Bethlehem (and a few others) would disagree. If there's one thing that the Bible—from Genesis to Revelation—is clear on, it's that violence and murder are as old as humanity itself... and that you shouldn't tease bald people.

Every Family's Got One

Your family may be great. You all love each other. There's no yelling or name calling. You all like the same TV shows so you never fight over the remote control. But let's be honest. Every family system has a wacko. The wacko may not be an immediate family member, but if you go to a family reunion sometime, you'll find them. Maybe it's a summer reunion and everyone is having burgers and chips at the picnic table, except for that one weird cousin who hiked out to the woods all by himself and is eating bugs and honey. Or maybe it's a winter event, and while everyone has their warm wool sweaters on, that one crazy aunt shows up wearing a robe made from the skin of a camel and starts telling everyone that they're sinners.

You Down with JTB? (Yeah, You Know Me!)

John the Baptist (not to be confused with "John the Presbyterian") was a bit of a weirdo and usually had some pretty harsh words. He also talked about how he was preparing the way for someone else. Of course, we know that John was referring to his cousin, Jesus, who said and did some pretty crazy things himself. I wonder what those family reunions were like? John is going around trying to get some people to eat grasshoppers and finding others to dunk in the river. Meanwhile, little Jesus is practicing his healing skills by going up to all his elderly aunts and uncles who wear bifocals, spitting in their face and then asking them if they can see better. Now that is a reality show I'd watch.

This One's for the Kids

The majority of my designs so far have been a little dark and not what I'd consider "kid friendly" (except for Nahum, of course). I wanted to switch it up a bit this week and make something for the youngins'. If you ask me, John's demise makes for a great kid's story. I'm actually kinda surprised that no one has done that yet. For those of you who don't know, here's how it goes down....

John is put in prison by King Herod. King Herod's wife hates John, but Herod has a weird sort of respect for John. You know, since they both have that whole "crazy" thing going on? Anyway, there's a party at the palace and Herod's daughter dances. Herod is so proud of her he says "name anything and I'll give it to you." Herod's wife seizes the opportunity and has her daughter ask for John's head on a platter. Herod, a man of his word, orders up some JTB cranium.

How is that story not great for kids! You could even act it out. Put on some Yo Gabba Gabba and have your daughter dance around to it. Then your wife can tell her to ask you to cut off the head of one of her dolls. Then you get out a chainsaw and behead that American Girl doll she just got for Christmas. What kind of kid would not love the Bible after that?

Seriously, that was just off the top of my head. I'm starting to think I should write a children's book.

More Matthew next week...