Oh Israel. What are we gonna do with you? Jeremiah has been nagging at you for years telling you that some bad stuff was gonna go down if you didn't shape up. And this isn't just any dude, Jeremiah is a prophet, so it's basically like Yahweh himself is saying "Israelite peeps, watch out! The way you are living right now is gonna lead you down a road you don't want to be on. Listen to what I'm saying and I'll help you get back on track." But did you listen?
Just stay focused on my heavenly mansion
The Israelites are all "don't you hate it when the creator of the universe is always telling you what to do? I mean, c'mon, God! Do I tell you what type of wood to use on my mansion that you are building for me in heaven? Did I send you a detailed list of all the food I want at my personal heaven buffet you're cookin'? Am I all up in your grill telling you what type of precious material my halo should be made out of? No, because you are in charge of that. So why are you up in my business about how I gotta live mylife? Just keep workin' on the mansion (I like mahogany with flamed maple inlays), my buffet (everything should be covered in gravy) and my halo (I consider Jelly Bellies precious material)."
It's hard to see the Israelites being taken captive with this awesome black hair in my eyes
The Israelites get a smack down from Nebuchadnezzar and the Babylonians. Ole Nebby and his army come in and bust up Jerusalem and take a bunch of the Israelites captive. Jeremiah is pretty bummed about that and decides to go out to a cavern and writes some poetry about how sad it is that the Israelites got busted. Yup. Poetry. In a cavern. Seriously, Jeremiah? It doesn't say what he was wearing at the time, but I have to assume he had on a tight black tshirt, girl jeans and his Cons. Probably had long hair in the front so it covered his eyes too. No doubt about it – Jeremiah was emo. Next week, Ezekiel does a little skeletal reassembly.