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Art and design by Jim LePage

Word: Mark (Walking on Water)

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Sometimes dudes just like to hang out together, y'know? Grab some beers, jump in the boat do a little fishing... bro time. And sometimes one of their buddies, who happens to be God incarnate, walks across the water to meet them. It's how we do!

Hellfire, Damnation and Testamints!

Has anyone ever asked you "If you could meet anyone in history and talk to them, who would it be?" Of course, every church-going Christian with a roll of Testamints in their pocket has to answer Jesus. Any other answer is basically like saying "Hey guys, you know who I think is more awesome than that guy who is God incarnate and came to earth to show me how to live a life of love and also died to redeem me and save me from myself because without him I was totally screwed and he did it all because he just likes me that much?" One way trip to eternal hellfire and damnation, folks.

The Original Moonwalker

But for the next choice after Jesus (having safely dodged damnation), who would you want to meet? For me, any one of the disciples would be high on that list. These dudes were not part of the holy club when they first met Jesus. They were just guys like me and they got to hang with Jesus. I would love to hear what they thought of events like this. The events that really started to change the way they thought about this guy. The events that made them realize that he's not just some good teacher, but that there's something else going on here. Something really unique. How did they process that stuff?

Even the times where Jesus isn't moonwalking on the lake or pulling fishes and loaves out of his hat, he's (maybe even more shocking!) breaking all sorts of cultural rules about who you talk to, who you eat with and basically, who you treat with dignity. What was the disciples' reaction to that? How many times did they see Jesus do something like that and think he was plain crazy before they started to realize that maybe there's just something really special about him? I'd love to hear one of the disciples tell their story.

Holy, Holy, Heathen!

After first choosing Jesus and then the disciples, I feel like I've earned a heathen, self-centered choice for number 3 on my list. For me, it's Solomon. I'd go back in time and be like, "hey what's that in the sky?" and knock that dude on the head with a shepherd's staff, grab some of his king bling, jump back in my time machine to return to 2011 and now I'm set for life, suckas! Come to daddy, 2008 Lürssen Madsummer!

Let's wrap this up with a question so I can increase both the number of comments on my site and my ego.

I'm gonna assume you all have Testaminty fresh breath and your first choice would be to meet Jesus, but after that, what Biblical person would you most like to meet and why?